dubai's schwartz is bigger than yours

although dubai is mostly an empty desert in the middle east, its government has chosen to build upwards.

way, way upwards.

meet the Burj Dubai:



















no, those other buildings aren't just very short. this is a concept drawing of the soon-to-be tallest building in the world. it isn't finished yet because it's very tall and it will take a long time to build. reportedly, it will top 26-hundred feet upon its completion - 900 feet taller than the sears tower. and i think to myself: maybe too big?

i'll point out, again, that dubai is in a desert, which means there's no real need build up. they have plenty of earth real estate to build on. so the next question becomes why? for the love of jebus, why?! why do this if not for necessity?

the answer to this riddle you'll find surprising i think.

*

the world is fascinated by penises. a recent poll said that a majority of men wished they had a bigger penis. freud based an entire theory on penises. women talk about men's penis size all the time (ie. sex in the city). large penises are a source of pride for those men who have them; small penises, likewise, bring shame.and i wonder aloud: is there a connection between penises and skyscrapers?to boast having the world's largest building is undoubtedly a source of pride, and skyscrapers do resemble penises in their basic shape, no?

in fact, i'll bet if aliens landed on planet earth tomorrow, they'd quickly question us on why we devote such large shrines to male genitalia. and all the while we'd be saying to them, "what are you talking about?" - completely unaware of the magnitude of our fascination.

now just maybe this is some coincidence. maybe skyscrapers and cocks just happen to look the same in their basic shape. even if this is a coincidence and not actually some subconscious manifestation, still, you must agree that both are physical representations of The Male Ego.

for some reason, both the owner of the penis and the creator of the skyscraper desire to be bigger than the next man/building. a point worth making now is that, in a way, society generally rewards size. this is contrary to my initial reaction that the quest for size is a fruitless reward and that society on the whole could care less how big your penis/skyscraper is. but that's not true. women are as equally fascinated with large penises as men are with breasts (and you're lying to yourself if you disagree). likewise, large buildings are spectacles for the masses. they are attractions for tourists, targets of terrorists.

maybe the quest for size is important?

i don't know the answer to that. but with this in mind, i ask you to reconsider the premise: isn't it possible that The Male Ego is manifesting itself in our architecture in the shape of the most phallic of symbols?

it's become a giant wang contest all over the world.

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but this building in dubai isn't simply trying to take the world record. it's actually trying to demolish the record, which is weird, right? in fact, i'm almost ready to say it seems desperate. like, "hey ladies, look how big my penis is. see how big it is? don't you see?" and that's where The Male Ego starts to lose its way. it's one thing to be well-endowed. it's another thing to be an all out freak show. like that guy in rolling stone a few years ago.

if i'm being honest with myself, it's not that i am morally opposed to these "spacescrapers" (TM by the_glide, 2007). what bothers me is that dubai is positioning itself as the city with the biggest penis in the world, which would be something like the annoying rich kid having the biggest cock in the locker room. spoiled rich kids haven't earned such honors. rather, if we had our druthers, it would be the leader who had the biggest member. someone strong. someone with real significance. like, say, New York.

unfortunately, a skyscraper's height is no longer reflective of a city's respective greatness but instead only of its wealth, rendering these once great symbols practically meaningless.