it seems to me that most people want to believe in the notion of destiny. and i can't say i'm any different. it's nice to think that there's something bigger at work in the universe. it's nice to imagine that our lives are fulfilling some greater purpose, that every day is another fallen domino playing out in the grand scheme of things.
people are especially guilty of this when it comes to a phenomenon called "falling in love." lovebirds are always destined to be together in their minds. the stars were aligned and all that crap. what's more, these Couples of Destiny are often looking for serendipitous signs to confirm their presumptions of destiny are true.
for example, there’s this mailman who has a rocky relationship with a girl. they used to date and then they broke-up. but now they’re back together again and the mailman is convinced this girl is his destiny.
heaven's way of confirming this to the pair of would-be lovers came in the form of...
dimes. as in small silver coins representative of .10 US cents.
you see, once the mailman and the girl started dating again the mailman started to find dimes everywhere he looked. dimes on the ground. dimes behind the dryer. dimes in his car. dimes in boxes, dimes with foxes. dimes here, there and everywhere. funny thing is, this happened last time the two dated. dimes. lots and lots of dimes. clearly they should get married immediately if not only for the free money their love creates.
i love this notion of destiny. it makes about as much sense as ghosts moving random household objects and slamming doors shut to make their presence known.
but i digress.
the idea of destiny is perfectly nice and all. but i do think there's a more reasonable approach to understanding why people find each other and experience the so-called "falling in love" phenomenon. dump the word "destiny" and replace it with "proximity."
do you have a favorite restaurant? you do? great. OK. now imagine you're eating at this favorite restaurant. look around the place. ask yourself: was this destiny? did fate lead me here? or am i here because it's near my house and the food tastes good?
the answer can only be one or the other. and if you had to bet your life on one of them, which one would you pick? i'm betting on proximity.
it works like this: you meet someone who lives near yourself. they offer you companionship the way a restaurant offers food. and like different restaurants offering unique menus, each person offers an individual brand of companionship. some will be appealing to you, some won't.
the thing is, just about anywhere you go you'll find at least a couple of restaurants you like eating at. and i ask you, is this not also true of people? you think if i packed up my bags and moved to nebraska tomorrow i couldn't find one decent girl there? i'm sure i could. people are "falling in love" all over the world, every day, in every time zone, and they're getting married and having kids and blah blah blah. can that be destiny at work all over the world? is cupid working over time? or is it simply that people want companionship and have plenty of options to choose from?
yes, but what about the dimes? none of this explains away the dimes.
true. very true.
all i can say is maybe there is such a thing as destiny. and maybe destiny sends us extraordinarily subtle / seemingly irrelevant clues to assure us that we are indeed following the path that was paved for us before time began. it's not at all likely that people fantasize about the notion of destiny in order to feel protected in a world that tends to be cruel and unforgiving, right? or to rid us of the pressure of making decisions for ourselves?
some people might read this and conclude that i'm too realistic, that i should cool down and not be so negative. why can't i just let people fall in love in peace? why must i suck out all the romance from such things?
well, to you i say this: my point-of-view is just as romantic as yours if not more so. because at the end of the day i'm choosing my restaurant/companion because they make me happy. simple as that. there's no illusions, no make-believe fairy tales. there's no "we were made for each other" sap. no dimes anywhere. just boring old truths such as "i enjoy your brand of companionship" and "i'm glad we live in proximity to one another." (those are free, boys. you're welcome).
so here's a final note for the lonely hearted out there: don't complain to the heavens about your plight. rather, relocate your business and revise your menu. and lastly know your clientèle. if you're a truck stop don't expect Grace Kelly or Cary Grant to walk through the door. it's okay to lower your standards if you aren't worth much.
